"My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together." “When I hear people say politics and religion don't mix, I wonder what Bible they are reading.” (Archbishop Desmond Tutu)

"And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6.8

"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4.19

"Work out your salvation with fear and trembling." Philippians 2.12

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Take me now Lord, it's time for Sex-Ed

The first lesson of Sex-Ed with 14 Yr olds is the longest hour of each year. We have the conversation about the need for maturity and common sense during which they (the boys, anyway) usually manage to snigger.

If you aren't able to be mature then I'll know that you aren't ready for Sex-Ed.

We're doing Sex-Ed? WAYHAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Oh God.

My way into this is to start off with a very good website that allows the kids to explore a variety of subjects, take quizzes and be generally interactive. It usually works well with me as consultant answering questions.

But not today: this is class 9D5.

Remember to click on the British, not the Australian flag.

Which is which Sir?

Sir. SIR. It says penis. Hahahahahahaha.

It will do. It's a Sex-Ed site.

Sex! Wayhay. Hahahahahahaha.

Oh God.

Sir. Jacob's got pubic lice. Hahahahahaha.

Sir. Tell him. I haven't. Shut up Josh: you don't even have pubic hair yet.

This is going well, then.

Sir, what are gentinels?

You know that conversation about maturity and adult behaviour?

Sorry Sir. Vagina! Hahahahahahaha

I wander through to the librarian's den.

Do you know, I hate Sex-Ed?

Would you like a Jaffa Cake?

Sir, right. It says here that feeling tired and stomach cramps may be a sign of pregnancy. I think I might be pregnant.

O.K. Luke, let's run that section again shall we?

Sir. Have you ever heard of a sex thing called Sleeping Beauty?

(There is going to be no right answer to this.)

Right. What happens is you sit on your hands for ten minutes so that you lose the feeling and then when you masturbate it feels like someone else is doing it .... so I'm told.

Really? Fancy that eh?

My colleague, the Librarian wanders in.

On Friday afternoon, I'm making plastecine penises with Yr 7. They must be labelled and anatomically correct - and of course, the right size.

How do we know what the right size for a Yr 7 penis is?

Another Jaffa Cake?


  1. Never mind Yr7...great scope for a debate as to what is the right size. Be assured the experience remains remarkably similar even at 18 or 19 by whihc time most of them are in committed sexual practices which will eventually ensure the end of the species.
    Still, cheered me up at the end of a miserable day.

  2. What in the WORLD is that *picture*??? :-0

  3. I got a ruler to check whether 11-16cms is an average size range for an erect penis.

  4. JCF: Theatre in Education. (Not me and the Librarian!)