Year 10 again!

Year 10 again. O Joy!

“Roman Catholics?” Courtney is very animated for someone who appeared to be asleep only a few seconds ago.

“Roman Catholics? Do they still exist? What do they look like?” There is a note of incredulity in her voice – which is an improvement on the usual surly whine we’ve all grown to love and treasure.

There is that moment: you know? The briefest of moments when you could hear a pin drop?

And then the room erupts. Even by the very low standards of this most bottom of bottom sets, Courtney has set a new standard and the rest of them know it.

And fully intend to exploit it.

Not that Courtney is the slightest bit ruffled by the response and resorts to her time honoured default position: brazen it out.

I marvel at her willingness to brazen it out given

1. The derision of everyone else in the group
2. The untenability of her statement

“Well, how would I know? I live in the twentieth century!”

Loud guffaws from around the room.

Really? Anyway, Roman Catholics aren’t an extinct species.

There is the merest raising of an eyebrow as if to suggest perplexity. Given all the makeup she is wearing, I am amazed the eyebrow muscle has the ability to take the strain and I ponder the mental image of plaster flaking from a wall.

“They built all those roads.”

It’s my turn to look perplexed.

The redoubtable Mrs. Carol, Support Assistant Extraordinaire, chips in, “I think she’s talking about the Romans, aren’t you Pet?”

Now at this point I don’t think Courtney has any idea what she’s talking about, but that’s a position she’s quite used to.

The others by now have lost interest and are constructively filling their time by smearing each other with glue-stick residue or poking pencils in each other’s ears.

Please don’t do that. I’ll have to fill in forms!

They settle remarkably quickly and I notice Aaron (“It’s pronounced Arran” No it’s not.) has a significant amount of red in his hair. Fashion statement or problem with as board-marker? No time to ask.

Right! Have a look at the bottom of Page 7.

“Bottom! Hahahahahahaha!”

Thanks Alfie.

They work in something approximating an on-task fashion. When I say “approaching an on-task fashion”, given the nature of this group, what I really mean is an off-task fashion.

Put the hole-punch down now.

Now we need to keep abreast of current affairs, so …

“Breast! Hahahahahahaha!”

Cheers Alfie.